From the Desk of an African Man…

images (4)There are probably many issues that could be discussed today, however, given that the Africa Cup of Nations is on, it is best to remind my fellow African females that we will get no attention from the men during this time.

So for those who think that this whole African man phenomenon is exaggerated…enjoy this   letter that first came out during the 2008 ACN.

Dear Wife, Partner, Girlfriend,

1. From 20 January to February 10 2013, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the African Cup of Nations, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the African Nations Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the African Nations Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor….It won’t happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say “get over it, its only a game”, or “don’t worry, they’ll win next time”. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called “words of encouragement” will only lead to a break up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying “one” game; hence do not use the African Nations Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to “spend time together”.

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don’t care if I have seen them or I haven’t seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because: a) I will not go, b) I will not go, and c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily African Nations Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying “but you have already seen this…why don’t

buy-general-tournaments-football-tickets you change the channel to something we can all watch?” because, the reply will be, “Refer to Rule #2 of this list”.

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as “Thank God the Nations Cup is only

every 2 years”. I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League,

Premier League, FA Cup, etc. Thank you for your cooperation.

Print this and place it besides the TV so that madam or your girlfriend can see so that we all enjoy the African Nations cup and save some misunderstanding.

This makes me laugh every time. Never fails, because it is so true.  I am sure not every African man subscribes to this, but I doubt I will be hearing much from my African male friends for another couple of weeks.

Plus, since I subscribe to being a football fanatic…I totally get it.

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2 Comments

Filed under Africa

2 responses to “From the Desk of an African Man…

  1. hahahahaha!! so true. we won though!!!!

    Like

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